A Mckinsey Consultant's Celebration Song:

If you aim to get the best result

And maximum performance you want to see

Then you really should consult

A Management Consultancy

Mckinsey management consultants are we

We take all our client's money

We can earn many a million

Because our clients have a vision

If Process Redesign is what you will

And you think it'll make a scuccess of all you do

Then rely on us to send you a bill

While we redesign your process for you.

We are from Mckinsey - young, bright and flash

We take mountains of our clients cash

We win lots of new client's cash

We win lots of new clients rich & fine

When we go around flogging Process Redesign...

If your preoject is in deep shit

And you see no way out of the mess you're in

Then all you need is to get a "Quick Hit"

And to score an "Early Win"

We are McKinsey's Loyal troops

We promise our clients great results

"You've huge improvement oppurtunities", is what we say

To all our clients - provided they pay.

We've got handouts & we've got flip charts

And dazzling powerpoint presentations

And we blow clients away

With our brilliant explanations.

We are McKinsey's little lackeys

Telling clients they're in trouble is just one of our strategies

Our language is smart & makes our clients ill-at-ease

It's what we call 'Consultantese'.

The Culture at.... is a real dead weight

But we crush resistance before it grows

We'rve used to organisations in a dreadfull state

Because, of course, we are Pros!

We are McKinsey's real hard core

We are the ones who'll win the war

Now we're going to party & have fun because

Cheers! We've just got our bonuses from Santa Clauss!

-taken from RIP-OFF! by David Craig